


Doubt x Strength

by BurningBroadripple



Series: Each Passing Year [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor Leorio, Kurapika answer your phone, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningBroadripple/pseuds/BurningBroadripple
Summary: Leorio is working at a small hospital when disaster strikes.





	

**Leorio - March 3rd - 24:**

"We're losing him!" A nurse called out to the room "Vitals are dropping. Pulse 120, BP 70/30. He's losing too much blood." said another rushing by. Leorio did his best to keep the sweat dripping down his forehead from falling on the dying man beneath him. The surgeon beside him cursed under his breath but kept his hands steady. A loud sharp beeping rang through the room, followed too quickly by a steady tone.

"Damnit, he's arresting. Starting chest compressions now!" The surgeon dropped his tools and placed his hands int he mans chest, desperately trying to get the muscle to pump again. Leorio knew this was his chance. Summoning his nen, he moved his hand to the mans chest and worked furiously to restart the flow alongside the other. For the next two minutes he tried everything he could think of to reanimate the lifeless heart. The flat tone never stopped.

"I'm calling it. Time of death, 2:36 am." The surgeon dropped his head and stepped away from the corpse. He placed a hand on Leorio's shoulder. "It's over kid, get out of here."

A loud wail came from outside the room - more survivors. He was still needed, and he knew he had to shake off the guilt and move onto the next person. As he stepped out of the surgery room into the hall the sounds and sights struck him like a truck. Some were crying, some screaming, other still in a silent state of shock. Small children, old women, everyone in between. And the blood... he could handle blood, he was going to be a doctor, but he'd never seen so much of it at once. Finding himself too overwhelmed to move he stayed frozen in the hall. In the distance he heard the sound of sirens getting louder, likely bringing more people to his rural hospital. Not that there was room for more , the small ER waiting room was already standing room only, bodies strewn across every surface. Besides having no physical space left, they also had no staff. This wasn't even his department - he was doing his rotations and had just finished his day with pediatrics when the call came in. Every nurse doctor and student had stayed to help, others came in on their day off. But it wasn't enough to care for every person there. They were a small hospital in the poorest part of the region, the next closest an hour away. They didn't have the capacity for a disaster of this size. He wondered when the ambulances would stop coming, when the death toll would stop rising.

_'How could someone do this?'_

Leorio knew choosing to work in an impoverished region would have its own unique set of hardships. The youth were restless, the elders were hopeless, people were poor, bored and angry. Leorio understood why people wanted to act out, why gang crimes had spiked, why graffiti littered the streets. He had made it a point to apply for this hospital in this region for that very reason - he had promised to be a doctor for the people who wouldn't have one otherwise. Leorio understood why these things happened, and had prepared for it.

What Leorio could **not** comprehend, was why someone would commit such a senseless act of violence.

_'Why a market, why these people, why this town?'_

His questions were left unanswered as the sound of blaring sirens just outside the waiting room doors snapped him out of his thoughts. He braced himself against the wall, desperately hoping to get out of the chaos. A crew rushed in with a gurney, a small figure draped beneath a sheet was strapped to it, barely moving. A middle aged paramedic noticed him as they rushed by and grabbed him by the shirt. "You! Scrub up and meet us at ER 2, we need all the help we can get. This guy is critical." Leorio wanted to say no, he couldn't do it, he would just get in the way. But then the covers fell to the side and he saw a small face with dark spiky hair.

The room around him suddenly started to fade away at the corners of his vision as pain gripped him. All at once his chest felt like it had collapsed, his head was spinning, and his hearing became muffled. The sight before him had sent him into a panic.

Visions of Pietro clutched in his arms, gasping his last breaths filled his mind. He remembered how his frail body finally went limp as they collapsed in the dirt street of their slum. He remembered calling out for help even though he knew none would come.

_'I failed Pietro.'_

He thought of Gon, bandaged from head to toe, the unnatural quiet that filled that sterile room, the only noise coming from the machines that kept him alive. How every inch of him was bruised and charred and just _wrong_. He remembered standing at the window staring in, unable to do anything.

_'I failed Gon.'_

_'I failed them both.'_

Forcing his mind to the present, his stared down at the small figure before him. He knew the boy had a different face, full and round where Pietro's was thin, dark green eyes where Gon's amber ones would have been.

_'I failed them.'_

Skin not quiet as sun kissed as either boy, and he was too young, much the same age as his friend had been when they taken the exam together.

_'I failed them.'_

Seeing the small boy lying there on the brink of death, a thousand emotions poured through Leorio.

_'I didn't do enough. I wasn't rich enough. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't strong enough.'_

_'I failed them.'_

He slid down the wall to the ground and buried his head in his arms, pulling his knees into his chest. He couldn't bear reliving the pain again. There was nothing more important to him in life than the people he loved and their safety. He inhaled sharply, forcing his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. He would do anything, give anything to have saved them both, he had done everything he could. It simply hadn't been enough.

Leorio stayed in his small ball on the floor for what felt like hours, but had likely been no more than a minute. The crew continued on, leaving him alone in the hall. Eventually a small voice, barely a whisper, crept from the back of his mind.

_'It wasn't your fault.'_

Leorio lifted his head and let it fall to the wall behind him, forcing his eyes open. He was only a small boy when Pietro had died, and he had spent the rest of his life working to be a doctor to make sure it didn't happen again.

_'I couldn't do anything then. But I can do something now.'_

He worked to steady his breathing, inhaling deeply through his nose, allowing a long exhale to leave his mouth. He had nearly become the Chairman of the Hunter's Associate just to get all the help for Gon he could. He had even punched his father square in the face for being so calloused.

_'I couldn't help Gon, but I can help this boy.'_

He placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself standing. A quick glance down the hall showed the doors still swinging, the paramedics and the small boy had moved through them just moments before. No more guilt, no more remorse he decided. In its place a fierce determination to save this boy filled his mind. He resolved himself to the task at hand and ran down the hall after them. He would help save this boy, and in some small way, he hoped it would help him forget his failure to save the others.

* * *

 

"Good work in there Paradinight." The head of surgery gave him a small smile, exhaustion pulling at the corners of her mouth. "We couldn't have done it without you." Leorio offered a smile of his own in return and turned to head for his locker.

"Leorio," she called after him, "Room 105."

He paused before nodding his thanks and made a sharp turn to his left. He fumbled down the hall, his sleep deprived state finally taking its toll. As he passed by room 105 his pace slowed and he allowed himself to look in. There on a bed was the small boy from before, the one he had helped save. Leorio was surprised to see a young woman, no older than 20 hovered over him, head resting on the bed, hand clasping his much smaller one. Leorio did his best to go unnoticed, but the young woman lifted her gaze just in time to catch his. Having been caught, he stepped into the room and leaned against the open door.

"Do you two need anything? We're pretty short staffed tonight." He stole another glace at the small boy sleeping peacefully in the bed.

"No, I think we have everything right now." Leorio nodded and turned to leave, feeling he had intruded enough.

"You know, it's his birthday today. He turned 11." Leorio looked back to see the woman was staring lovingly at the child, tears at the corners of her eyes. "We couldn't afford a party or anything but I had promised to make him a cake. When we were kids our mom always made us a special cake, but it's just us two now. So we went to the market last night to get ingredients and..." her voice trailed off as she relived the previous night. She sat for a moment before shaking her head of the thoughts. "I didn't think he'd make it you know? But he did and he's alive and once I can take him home I'm going to make that cake. I've never been so happy to have to bake a damn cake." The woman let a small laugh, filled with something closer to relief than joy.

He stepped further into the room, placing his hand on the doorknob. "You know, today is my birthday too. I'm glad to know I share it with such a strong kid." She smiled at Leorio, and he returned the gesture, a silent understanding between them.

"You should both get some sleep. Press the call button if you need anything." Leorio turned and pulled the door closed behind him. A few tears escaped from his eyes and down his cheeks but he let them. These were happy tears.

* * *

 

Leorio finally stumbled into his cramped apartment a couple hours later. He was hungry, but his exhaustion would have to be satiated first. He flung himself onto the couch, not even bothering to undress. He pulled his phone out of his bag, realizing he had neglected to check it yet that day.

_'3:15 PM, when did it get that late...'_

Unlocking the front screen, he checked his voicemail.

"You have two messages.

First message: "LEORIO! Happy birthday! I hope you're doing something really fun! I'm helping Kite track this rare lizard, it's really exciting! Oi, what was that Kite? I'm being too loud? I scared off the lizards?! Ahhhhhh. Oh, hey Leorio, I have to go, but I hope you have a great day! Sorry Kite, I didn't mean to"- End of message.

Next message: "Oi, old man, are you finally getting up enough in years that they moved you to a seniors only home? Or do you just have a nurse that comes over to help you get around? Be careful, you're one year closer to your grave, wouldn't want you to throw out a hip or anything! 24 is SO OLD" Killua's voice dissapeared, but he could still hear a shuffling noise in the background "Hi Leorio, this is Alluka. What brother is TRYING to say is Happy Birthday! We miss you. Alluka! That's not what -" End of message

No more new messages."

Leorio let his phone fall to the floor and rolled onto his side-there would be time to call them both after he got a nap. Surprisingly, his last conscious thoughts weren't of the spiky haired boy off on his adventures, or the white haired brat that made it his personal mission to irritate him. They weren't of the boy he had saved, or his childhood friend he'd lost. They weren't even of the day's events or the countless lives lost. No, he wasn't thinking of anything but crimson eyes and blond hair and how desperately he wished one of those voicemails had been from someone else. And then, before he knew it, he was asleep.

* * *

 

It was few hours later when Leorio woke up, instantly regretting his choice to sleep on the tiny couch, his body stiff and sore all over. Carefully, he pushed himself up to sit and stretched his long arms over head. A loud rumble came from his stomach, demanding his immediate attention. He walked to the kitchen, looking for the quickest solution. Grabbing a bowl, he filled it with cheerios and milk and returned to the couch. He was halfway through his dinner, if you could call it that, when he remembered he had messages to return.

Finding his phone discarded on the floor, he picked it up and turned to call the boys back. Much to his surprise, there was another message waiting.

_'Maybe it's the hospital seeing when I could head back.'_

"You have one message.

First message: "... um, hi, it's me. I'm calling from a payphone, so don't bother calling back... " there were a few moments of silence, then a deep sigh could be heard " ...I hope you had a happy birthday, for what it's worth. I... I have to go. Bye."- End of message.

No more new messages."

Leorio set the phone down. It may not have seemed like much, but it was the best present he could have hoped for.

 


End file.
